Stay Another Season
by distinct complicity
Summary: Severus POV: Before Severus leaves, he asks Remus to kiss him. Remus gives something more in return. Suicidal thoughts, boys kissing, and just general angst.


Rating: PG-13 for suicidal thoughts, boys kissing, and just general angst. Pairing(s)/character(s): James. Remus/Severus.   
Summary: Severus POV: Before Severus leaves, he asks Remus to kiss him. Remus gives something more in return.   
Notes: Stolen Inspired by a Broken Social Scene video for "I'm Still Your Fag": (Please don't let the title discourage you! You can find it on YouTube, if you really wanted.) I couldn't help but think of them when I saw it.

* * *

"Remus! You're not going to learn how to dodge Bludgers if you don't try to hit you with one! Now, get on your broom and get up here!"

I could go to him now. I could. He still has his feet planted firmly on the pitch. James is there too, though. I know it's him and not Black. He's high up there, but I see his unkempt hair and Merlin knows I hear his loud, bossy words. They've been here for a while. I've been here watching them for the last hour, now. They were both in the air a moment ago, chasing around the Snitch shoulder to shoulder around the pitch. James easily dominated and grabbed the Snitch, but then James has been practicing at the game a lot more than Remus has. I've seen Remus in the crowd and not on the pitch. I've seen James out on the pitch more times than I would like to mention. He thinks he's the best Quidditch player of all time. Maybe that's why he thinks he can bring someone like Remus out here and teach him how to play. However, it looked like both boys have had enough. James looks anxious, and so does Remus. He looks nervous and anxious, doesn't he, bracing his broom?

"James, I don't think this is a very good idea," Remus shouts up. "I don't think... this really isn't... I mean... you know we've been out here for a while and... I really should be catching up on all that work I missed from..."

"Scared of a little Bludger? Nancy boy! Now, come on, get up here!"

"I'm no wuss!" Remus lifts off the ground in a fury and gives himself a good distance from James. He steadies himself and then cries out, "I'm ready! Come on, hit me!"

I won't miss this. I won't miss Quidditch. I won't miss Hogwarts. I won't miss the sun shining in my face while I'm trying to watch Remus (hopefully) escape the Bludger (I won't miss them either) that James is about to hit at him. I certainly won't miss James Potter.

_**Crack**_

"Remus!"

I didn't need to see the Bludger hit him. James' cry was proof enough. Both James and I started to head towards the fallen Remus without any hesitation. As I jumped down multiple stairs at a time, I hoped that I wouldn't fall myself and crack my head open. That would be an unfortunate way to go. Too much pain. Why do that to myself when it could be painless? There were simple potions to brew that would put one to sleep... not a nasty dream in sight...

James reached him first, obviously. I caught them hand in hand. Remus looked disoriented, like he shouldn't be standing and James was just relieved that he hadn't killed his friend. He nervously apologized to Remus, "Maybe we've had enough for today. Are you sure you're okay? Do you need to sit down? Are you sure you're okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine... I had control of my broom for _most_ of the way down." Remus shook his head and winced. "At least no one..." he started, but didn't finish it. He saw that I had been standing there. "Oh."

"Get away, Snape! We don't need your help here."

"Are you okay, Re--- Lupin?"

"He's fine! Just fine! Now, go back to your dungeon, okay?"

"I wish to speak to you, if I may."

Looking more distracted than ever Remus responded, "Us?"

"Not Potter! Just you!"

James kept a careful eye, but Remus was more welcoming. He even smiled, just so slightly. "You like Quidditch? I saw you watching us practice..."

"This isn't about sports. I don't discuss such things. This is an important matter. To be brief, I plan to lie down for the last time next Tuesday and..."

"You're what?" Remus rubbed the back of his head.

"I'm departing. I have no choice. I'm well prepared this time. I have the knowledge to make such a potion that..."

"Severus?" He says my name. "How come?" He looks concerned.

"Hypocrisy. In the world." But that wasn't the only reason. To go into it with him would take much too long. I didn't want to waste the words in front of Potter because they wouldn't mean anything to him. In fact, he'd find a way to make fun of me for it, I'm sure. So, hypocrisy. That was the right word to use. It brings up many images in one's mind. Many thoughts. I wonder what James knew about hypocrisy. I wonder if he knew what the word even meant.

"Hypocrisy is a drag." He speaks again. He still looks concerned but I find it difficult that he would be concerned over me. He barely speaks to me otherwise. His friends hate me and torture me at every chance they get. So, why would he care?

"You think so?"

"Yeah, but I'm still here, right?"

You are still here. You're talking to me and it seems that you're understanding me. But maybe it's just for this moment. Maybe it's just because your broom got hit with a Bludger and you fell and bumped your head. Temporary insanity. But I don't say this.

"Before I expire next Tuesday, I would... I would like you to kiss me."

His eyes brighten, but before he can react further, James has grabbed me, shouting, "You little fag!" I've never seen him this upset. He pushes me to the ground. He grabs his wand from his robe and points it at me. At this point, I can only imagine what he was going to hex me with. What can that brain of his come up with? I put my hands over my head, because that's just my gut reaction. I'm not really scared. I've got through the hardest part. I told Remus that I wanted him to kiss me. What is so hard about anything after this? What's so bad about dying, now, anyway?

James gives me a few obligatory kicks and runs off the pitch. I wait a moment longer, so that I know that he is gone, to get back up. I feel someone close to me. I look up, panicked, thinking that it must be James again, but it's him. Remus. He has his hand out to help me up and I take it. I sweep some of the grass off my robes but I don't wait around for anything else to happen. It's clear where Remus' loyalties lie.

"I wouldn't bother killing myself over anything!" He shouts to me.

"Well, aren't you lucky?" I turn back around.

"Severus! I... I still need to practice at dodging Bludgers if I'm going to play Quidditch with the others. How about you try and hit me with one? Then you can..."

"What?" Than he can kiss me? What? He wanted to practice with me? I've barely been on a broom, let alone hold a bat and a Bludger while up above the ground. "I don't even have a broom."

"Here," he tosses his broom, still in tact, to me. He runs over to James' broom and lifts off above me.

A few minutes have past, and I'm still holding on to the Bludger. He comes closer, perhaps thinking that I can't hit it that far, but the reality was that I couldn't hit it at all. After a moment longer, he flies over to me, looking tired and defeated and perhaps still in pain.

"I'm too tired. Why don't we give this another try next week? Next Sunday? You can try to hit me then."

"Yes, okay." Was all I could mutter.

He came closer to me. Shoulder to shoulder. I don't know how I didn't crash down, myself, when I leaned in to kiss him. He didn't move. He didn't move away with disgust. He closed his eyes. He let it happen. When I opened my eyes, his were still closed as if he were having a delayed reaction. I waited, and then they opened again. He could have said something, but I think that would have ruined the moment. He didn't look like he was happy, or angry for that matter, but it just seemed that he was considering something and agreed with it. And I suppose that reaction was fine with me.


End file.
